Tripping the Limit at the Holland Casino

I had been neglecting my non-poker friends of late between playing and dealing left, right and centre! The trip to the 'Dam with two of my most neglected friends was my idea, with the aim of surprising another mutual friend of ours who is currently studying for his MA over there. There was a few conditions including "no poker!" Ha!

In line with the recession, we had to travel on a tight budget, finding a cute 'Boatel' in the Oosterdok to stay in (floating hotel) offering B&B for the unbelievable price of €294 was a steal for a 3 bed cabin for 4 nights. At first I was worried about the cold, damp etc. But we had no reason to fear, the boat was lovely and warm! The rooms are tiny and the individual showers-cum-toilet wet-rooms were shared with plenty of hot water. The breakfast, a simple buffet style but delicious, good value for the price! I would recommend it to anyone looking for a clean, safe, basic accommodation. All weekend I felt we were the oldest ones staying there among the students til a couple of 40-something women in bright pajamas and big jewellery greeted us on Monday morning!

Poor Hilda picked up an viral infection a few days before the trip and the Doctor refused to allow her travel... Our mutual friend had his partner over for the weekend so his available time to spend with us was limited (teach us to try to surprise him like that!) and Vean developed a strange pain in her back that got just grew steadily worse as the day progressed, all she was fit for by 10pm was bed!

We managed to fit in some sightseeing, a couple of museums and several good quality (and damn good value) meals. And shopping of course! Not as much as I would've liked... but I digress.

What else can a nice girl do in this city at night, bar go to the Casino?! LOL!

On Friday night I arrived in the Casino at 11pm, it was wet and stormy, I had grabbed a taxi that from my tourist map seemed to take the scenic route to the place! The entrance €5 fee was a surprise, considering the perks we have in the card rooms in Ireland... There's no complimentary food or drink provided. The place is huge, spread out over 3/4 floors with several nooks and cranies. It took me ages to find the poker rooms tucked in the back, the room was surprisingly small compared to the rest of the establishment.

With three €1/2 limit (€40 buy-in) tables going strong; one €2/5 limit (€100 buy-in); one Omaha €10/10 with a minimum €1k buy-in(!) And the only no-limit table was €2/5 with €250 minimum buy-in. There were waiting lists 8-12 names deep for the limit tables... I was 8th one one and 11th on another! Talking to the female TD, I discovered they were short of dealers (they change shifts every 40mins) and couldn't open the extra 4 empty tables. Reluctantly I put my name down for the no-limit too balking at the minimum buy-in, and was 4th on the list(!) The lists taking ages to shift with several people standing around waiting to be called.

I went on a walk-about, the place seemed totally overrun by slot-machines. Counting 3 blackjack tables, I wandered over to see if a spot was free, and was amazed to see blackjack played a little differently! The actual game was the same but people were laying 4-5-6 bets per 'lane' and even betting that a 'pair' (better odds than a blackjack hand!) will come out! Unlike here, you can only have one prime spot on each of the lanes (an elongated blackjack betting spot in front of the dealer) 'lane' is the wrong word but in this case it seemed appropriate. In Ireland, no one else can bet on the same cards as you, in Holland they can: The player with the main spot at the top of the 'lane' decides the action - to hit, double, split or fold. The remaining bets on the lane behind the prime bet are at the mercy of that player's actions! But they win when the prime spot wins! There's a smaller 'lane' to the right of the main for betting on pairs. You had to keep a sharp eye on your bets, I watch a few squabbles break out over some of the bets, scary stuff!

Going back to the Poker area, they were opening a new €2/5 limit table and I was called... assuming this was pot limit, I was gobsmacked that limit was same as the online limit games! Each bet could only be last plus 1 BB, unless after the turn when it's 2xBB. After two hands, I wasn't impressed with the standard of the limit game, when I heard my name being called for the no-limit table I immediately jumped up and made my way over to the €2/5 no-limit table and paid the minimum €250. Baaaaad move! Looking around I knew, I had landed among the sharks - my €250 stack was pathetic compared to €800+++ stacks! Vowing to play tight I folded for a few hands watching my players: the 'standard' first raise was €50, re-raise €100/150(!) General play was super-aggro loose with suited connectors and low pairs equally valued as AK or QJo! Value table if you have the funds! Finding AKo, I called an UTG's €50 bet in MP; button raised to €150 and the action folded back to me - I shoved my stack (decimated to €220 at this point) and he folded after a dwell. Next hand I got AQ suited and raised to €50, two callers, flop read 5,7,K. We all checked, the turn showed a Q, action checked to me and I bet €100. Both players called. River 8 giving the flush, action went check, check, I smelled a stinky rat suspecting a slow-played king or possible straight or flush and elected to check behind too. Was so glad I did! One player won holding K8 off, the other showed K2suited! FFS call a raise with them! I mucked my hand in disgust. A few hands later I lost €200 with KK calling a shortie's AIPF A9 - A on river - and my last few chips went in the middle when I checked with Kh10h in BB with 6 limpers, to shoved with the Kx10x5h flop, and got 4 callers(!) But lost to one player holding 55 for trips... meh! I probably should have shoved instead of checking the blind, but I doubt if that had made a difference...

Getting up after that awful session, the TD called me for the €1/2 limit table (my name was still on the list!) it was only 12:30, and I wasn't in the mood to go home either! The TD egged me stay and play "Naw, use girl power!" she urged "Go! Play! Show them your girl power!" So over I went, sat down and put €50 on the table... what fun it turned out to be! Compared to the solemn no-limit banter-free table the €1/2 table was full of craic, the garbled English used by the various French, German, Dutch, Italian and British players was so funny (Oh yes, English only at these tables!!!) and the game was enjoyable! I eventually got up with €150 at 2:45am... walking past the blackjack tables (which were still open) looking for the cash desk, I decided to sit down to play with €20 both my 'neighbours' immediately placed a bet on my 'lane' as I doubled or split they added the extra bet, giving me hugs when I won (cos they did too!) Left at 3am with €30 extra from the BJ and made my way home in the fast falling snow.

By Saturday night the weather had gotten worse it was still snowing but it wasn't settling, after shopping most of the day getting wet and cold, I elected to stay on the boat with Vean, drinking beer and playing Yatzee... Could've made money on that, I could! ;-D But Vean wasn't biting! I tried to teach her poker... difficult to do without chips.

The Anne Frank house was on the agenda for Sunday, followed by late 'all-you-can-eat-in-an-hour' buffet lunch in Chinatown for €8:50... Afterwards Vean wanted to go back to the boat and gave me her blessing to go on to the casino! Shane brought me over on the tram (only 4 stops - confirming my suspicion I had been ripped-off by the taxi driver on Friday night!) Once inside, I made a bee-line for the €1/2 limit tables, and got a place immediately.

The Sunday table had different faces, here play was more mental than before... couple of the players kept raising and re-raising in EVERY hand with any two! Putting €60 down I rode a roller-coaster ride over the next few hours getting as low as €12 at one point, and as high as €230... finally getting up with €195 at the end! I had AA no less than 4 times (a record for me!) and only once were they cracked; I even manged a lovely bluff! Holding K9 on an AA44 board I kept raising and got two players to fold on the turn! LOL! One cute Italian was right behind me and saw the cards, started braying with laughter begging me to 'Show! Show! Show!'
I cheekily busted one of the looser 'raaaaaaiiiiise'ing players' who was holding a good hand for once(!) He had KK while I was holding a pathetic 85 suited (my most memorable hand of the night!) I just didn't 'believe' the raise and flopped a beautiful 467 straight to win a €130 pot! LOL!

Counting back - including my €5 entrance fees on both nights, I broke even, I'm not complaining! Just paid for my taxis and drinks...

Exiting the casino (very swish with ticketed cloakrooms, huge bathrooms, full bar and dining service; and best of all - electronic deck shufflers on all tables) the police presence outside made it feel very safe the taxi rank is 150m away - a taxi after midnight to any point within the Centraal area is €15 regardless of distance travelled. Beware the Casino closes at 3am; just bring your chips, cards and duty-paid-but-cheaper-than-Ireland drinks for a post-poker party!

Never mind the coffee shops - if you fancy a 'space cake' experience - just go straight to the Holland Casino and trip-away on their wild limit tables!!!


(Don't I look Iorish enough?!!!!)